Laiba Naveed

If Only The Voices Could Die Without Her

To the voices inside staying a little longer

Closing the book, she kept it on the side table. Another love story turned into a tragedy? She shook her head, slipped into her night slippers and strode towards the bathroom. Murmuring the words to herself, she had to pause the reading - the stories were consuming her.

Negative thoughts were all you whispered. Splashing the water over her face trying to quiet down the voices -needn't open her eyes and look at the repulsive reflection. Whispers turned to echos, breathed in - tried to steady herself, screams caught up in her throat tried to blink the tears back - they couldn't know.

Another splash you echoed more vociferously you had the story twisted - the books the stories called out to her, you had said. The unhappy ones were for you.

These days she was holding back, and you whispered the words, knowing they would stay for a while - to fight again, he was already tired, and she was so far, drowning. 'Don't' she would whisper back to you, face stained with tears finger curled up in her palms digging into the flesh - red was all she could see.

You were turning her into a person people despised. False accusations on them - sat with knees up her head resting in between them, how did you make those words seem so real? Messed up things you held inside her wishing she would obey.

Whispers were hushed before when the blood ran cold inside her, you knew six years were enough for silent whispers - he came in like, a little ball of sunshine into her life and you knew the whispers from the past were to be woken up again.

Opening her eyes, she stared back at the sickening girl as you tried to hold her breath - hopelessly she gave in. Turning back to her room, you whispered again. Once again, negative thoughts were all you whispered. She couldn't keep up with you making her brutally cynical.

She would cry at how she could think of them like that - you had bruised her heart all over again. She loathed you, and you tried to coo her to deep sleep. Falling deeper, she whispered for the peace to take over.

He wouldn't stay, you know that. He's falling out of love, he's with someone else. She's tired of your calls and work. Don't tell him, you will just ruin his mood. Faith will never be on your side. Dreams? You dream? You would never be able to catch them. You can't keep him forever. Your destiny? I can see it going down with you. She doesn't love you, remember the memories? What if he's just like the other one? What if? What if? WHAT IF?

She couldn't shut them. She just couldn't scream.

~ From the one who was tired of fighting

Laid in bed hands on my head, I couldn't say further. Keeping the page hidden I wasn't scared until they didn't know it belonged to me. They can't know about the voices.